desperately trying to water dead plants

flowers don't grow from guilt

Buy new seeds.
Replant the perspectives with which I view
our world and its children and sky so blue.
I wish for nothing more than to blossom in new land
one vast and green where nothing is planned.
One where I am free to grow without limitations;
without pesky beetles and cutworm infestations 
ripping at the heart of my stem 
but who’s ruining the foundation, me or them?

Sure, I could blame the government or men or some other powerful establishment 
but time will come when I realize I am a worse predator than any sexist superintendent
I could say I've tried my hardest to tend to my garden alone 
but truth be told, I am the one who killed the lovely garden we’ve known 

With the flowers all wilted, the weeds coming through 
I wish for nothing more than to undo 
the wrath, the evil, the scum in my brain 
that now i’m aware of so clearly plain 
I find it difficult to deal with the pain
with all my ancestors’ work down the drain
and so hard hitting that I find myself 
sitting down next to the rocks i pelt 
desperately trying to water dead plants.