I cannot thank you enough for the clarity and empathy in your writing. I randomly found "& life goes on" and it was a perfect depiction of my life in the last 13 months. Thirteen months since the death of my wife of 38 years. Life does go on. Well-meaning people say "c'mon you should be good by now, right?" Life is going by on the road and I suddenly understand people who stand on the sidewalk and rave at cars going by. I don't want to go on. I wanted off. I wanted stop not motion, silence not engagement. Thirteen months lateri look up and I've taken a few steps. I've changed a couple of things. I enjoy a couple of things. But some days the waves still roll in. And then I see this today. Its me. I'm a work in progress. I don't know what later looks like. I'm frankly scared of it. But maybe tomorrow is better. One way to find out.
You're the substack writer I always look forward for to read. This essay proofs that again. So many highlights here. So much to unpack. Thank you for giving me space to feel my tears.
Thank you very much for posting this at the correct time. Maybe it is universe’s sign. I’ve been on the low low for a life determining exam but then my widget suggest me this post. It’s actually on my mind but sometimes I wont listen to me saying these things for myself.
I appreciate you. Recently some old memories threw me for a loop. I spent the whole day crying and thought this is a waste of my time for actions that weren't mine. I happened to come across this so, I thank you. You're right healing isn't linear, it isn't perfect, nor should it be. I don't need to be perfect or emotionally condemn myself for being in situations that were unfortunately inevitable given my upbringing. I have grown; "this time, we’ll do it differently" is a big part of the unfolding of my past for a more pleasurable future. The pain still comes in waves of "I wish I had.... instead" but I get to shape my future and that alone is extremely gorgeous.
Thank you so much for writing this! I think so often that the path to get wherever we’re headed is more of a loopty loop one than a straight line. I think it feels incredibly daunting as you navigate through it all but you explaining it this way is lovely. I think sometimes it can be so embarrassing to be seen trying bc that’s a clear indicator that you haven’t DONE IT yet. But whatever “it” is will likely be a long journey and I don’t know that it will ever feel entirely completed
I cannot thank you enough for the clarity and empathy in your writing. I randomly found "& life goes on" and it was a perfect depiction of my life in the last 13 months. Thirteen months since the death of my wife of 38 years. Life does go on. Well-meaning people say "c'mon you should be good by now, right?" Life is going by on the road and I suddenly understand people who stand on the sidewalk and rave at cars going by. I don't want to go on. I wanted off. I wanted stop not motion, silence not engagement. Thirteen months lateri look up and I've taken a few steps. I've changed a couple of things. I enjoy a couple of things. But some days the waves still roll in. And then I see this today. Its me. I'm a work in progress. I don't know what later looks like. I'm frankly scared of it. But maybe tomorrow is better. One way to find out.
You're the substack writer I always look forward for to read. This essay proofs that again. So many highlights here. So much to unpack. Thank you for giving me space to feel my tears.
Thank you very much for posting this at the correct time. Maybe it is universe’s sign. I’ve been on the low low for a life determining exam but then my widget suggest me this post. It’s actually on my mind but sometimes I wont listen to me saying these things for myself.
I can't explain how this essay related withme so deep. To understand that what matters is I didn't abandon myself, although I failed too many times...
"There’s something so gentle and powerful in allowing ourselves to just be unfinished, evolving, human. Thank you for this tender reminder, Jia."
that beautiful post hits me so hard, i could see myself in this
This is so beautifully written :)
your writing is amazing
God bless you 🙏 ❤️. You really give us hope and the strength to heal
This hit me in the deepest layer of my bones.
I appreciate you. Recently some old memories threw me for a loop. I spent the whole day crying and thought this is a waste of my time for actions that weren't mine. I happened to come across this so, I thank you. You're right healing isn't linear, it isn't perfect, nor should it be. I don't need to be perfect or emotionally condemn myself for being in situations that were unfortunately inevitable given my upbringing. I have grown; "this time, we’ll do it differently" is a big part of the unfolding of my past for a more pleasurable future. The pain still comes in waves of "I wish I had.... instead" but I get to shape my future and that alone is extremely gorgeous.
I really loved this. Thank you.
Thank you so much for writing this! I think so often that the path to get wherever we’re headed is more of a loopty loop one than a straight line. I think it feels incredibly daunting as you navigate through it all but you explaining it this way is lovely. I think sometimes it can be so embarrassing to be seen trying bc that’s a clear indicator that you haven’t DONE IT yet. But whatever “it” is will likely be a long journey and I don’t know that it will ever feel entirely completed
💙💙
🙏🏻❤️🕉❤️🙏🏻