29 Comments
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Aster_Fox's avatar

The more people know you, the less they can pretend that you're who they expect you to be. Sometimes this turns the pedestal love deeper, more knowing, but sometimes it feels like you're grasping glass pieces of you that shattered so long ago you no longer know how they fit together. You're begging for someone to be able to work around your flaws, despite them, because you struggle to think anyone can love you for them. But the right people, the people close to you, will help remind you that, even when you struggle, you're still worth it. We're all big messes trying to hide to others about how big the mess is. The best people, are those who let you be messes together. Keep trying. ❤️

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Jia's avatar

"We're all big messes trying to hide to others about how big the mess is. The best people, are those who let you be messes together." i LOVE that. thanks for sharing :)

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look of libra's avatar

love this! here’s to trying and trying again❤️‍🩹

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Dana's avatar

The chances that you will find that person who will look at you and truly see you- all of you- tend to be one in a million. Sometimes I think that is what makes it truly special and worthwhile.

And sometimes, you won’t have to show them all the parts you keep tucked away. Sometimes someone will come into your life, and they will observe and understand you.

They will suprise you when they tell you something about yourself you have never shared before. And you will look back at those sacred moments and know that you are truly loved by them, and nothing beats that feeling of certainty.

I was fortunate enough to find that in a dear friend of mine, one who didn’t shy away from all that made me who I am.

And I hope you’ll find it with someone too.

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Tara's avatar
Jun 5Edited

You just described me to myself in a way that I never could. I never knew how to find the words. This just ripped me open. I feel so seen, maybe not by my lover, but by you. Thank you. I hope we find the love that we deserve <3

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Jia's avatar

<3

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Francesca da Rimini's avatar

OMG WHO LEAKED MY JOURNAL ENTRIED

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jade ilesanmi's avatar

this is so vulnerable! thank you so much for sharing. you put how i’ve been feeling, what i’ve been thinking into words. i’m tearing up. thank you so much for this!! i hope u feel less alone knowing that someone else feels the same way and that through your words you’ve helped me see a different side of things <<33

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look of libra's avatar

i needed to read this today! thank you!! i relate so much to your words. maybe im being dramatic but while reading, there’s a voice in my head yelling, “SHAME! SHAME!”. but with each sentence, i find my true self standing up for us and yelling back at this voice.

it’s been 9 months since the most painful heartbreak of my life so far. 9 months ago, i couldn’t imagine how today would feel like. im glad to report that im feeling better. there is still pain and anger, but there is also peace, joy and clarity.

anyway, my whole point is to try and always remember what you are capable of and return to yourself. ❣️

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A.C. Gable's avatar

That's beautiful. Thank you.

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Samruddhi Naik's avatar

Same 😞😢 people get afraid when I show the dark parts of mine and pull away saying "you're too much". I'm scared of getting abandonment I've lost a lot of people whom I thought understand me. But I'm so fucking intense and emotionally sensitive that telling them that their ways of handling trauma doesn't work for me that well, then it's the end, I'm weak and not strong enough. While I listen to people and their sadness and just be there without imposing my ways of handling the situation. I'm so tired of losing myself and people. Why do I care so much? Why am I such an intense human😭? What sin did I do to feel this deeply about every little thing?

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Jia's avatar

i’m so sorry you’re feeling this way, but I want you to know you’re not alone. i totally understand feeling like your intensity and emotional depth scare people off, and the fear of abandonment weighs heavy. it’s heartbreaking to lose people who you thought truly got you.

but one quote I tell myself that I want to share with you is that “it is a blessing to feel deeply.” yes, it can be painful and exhausting, but that depth means you experience life fully, with all its beauty and messiness. To choose to feel despite the pain is a rare kind of strength, not a weakness or a sin. your feelings, your intensity—they are part of what makes you uniquely you, and that matters. it is so much better to feel everything all at once than feel nothing at all–to be numb to life.

it’s okay to be this way. it’s okay to care so much. you deserve people who can hold that with you. thank you for trusting us enough to share your heart here, i'm holding space for you. <3

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Samruddhi Naik's avatar

Means a lot. I mean what a coincidence that this article showed up just after I ended a conversation with a friend in tears trying to explain the same thing! Thank you so much for writing this. Lots of love JIA❤️

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Shirley-Moana Duff's avatar

Thank you for sharing this personal story. I love your realisation that "Maybe I’m not too much. Maybe I’ve just been too much for the wrong people." It's a brave act to let people see you, I applaud you not giving up.

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Olivia's avatar

You put exactly what I was feeling into words in terms of dating and wanting love. You are not the only one who feels like the more someone knows you, the less they love you. Truthfully, it goes both ways; the best way for me to get over a man sometimes is to get to know them better and realise that they are not who I had romanticised them to be.

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lana's avatar

never felt more called out in terms of love

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ansesu's avatar

Thank you for this. I admire your strength to confront these uncomfortable feelings in such a straightforward manner. This seems like an unending challenge, that is, to accept yourself, but I guess it is worth it!

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shalizzle's avatar

i feel tremendously seen. wow. thank u for sharing 🥺❤️❤️

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Hannah Marcotti's avatar

I could have written this. Thank you for your vulnerability and helping me feel less alone. ❤️🌈

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Kyra Andrews's avatar

Thanks for sharing! I can relate to this in some ways and wrote about it too in my latest post! <3 I'm wondering if you're aware of your attachment style? Gaining an understanding of it has helped me a lot in my relationships.

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Jonathan's avatar

It's hard to write this raw.

It's like going to Confession.

I'm sure it's healing.

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